How Christ Esteem Can Replace Your Low Self-Esteem
How to Replace Low Self-Esteem With High Self-Esteem
Researchers tell us that over 80% of people around the world suffer from low self-esteem, including those in the United States. Many of us might believe that those who have money, fame, and a winning personality are exempt from this problem. However, when interviewed, some very famous people made surprising statements about their struggle with self-esteem.
For example, actress Demi Moore shocked many in a 2012 interview with Harper’s Bazaar when she exclaimed, “What scares me is that I’m going to ultimately find out at the end of my life that I’m really not lovable, that I’m not worthy of being loved. That there’s something fundamentally wrong with me…and that I wasn’t wanted here in the first place.”
Will Smith once conceded in an interview, “I still doubt myself every single day. What people believe is my self-confidence, is actually my reaction to fear.”
At Grace Life International, we see low self-esteem all of the time in our counseling work, regardless of whether it is male, female, single, married, teens, or adults. As Christians, a large majority of us believe that our Christian friends have it all together, but we don’t. So, we conclude that we simply aren’t as good as other people, not in a moral sense, but in the realm of lovability. That’s the primary issue, isn’t it? Do we believe in our hearts that we are lovable?
The way we determine if we’re lovable is the difference between having a good self-esteem or a low self-esteem. Ask yourself, “Is your self-esteem based on your love-ability or is it on Jesus’ love-ability? That is, is it your ability which makes you lovable, or it is based on Jesus’ ability to make you lovable? (Before someone gets bent out of shape for saying you need to love yourself, remember that Jesus said in Mark 12:31 you are to love your neighbor as yourself.)
I (Mark Maulding) don’t know about you, but when I evaluate myself, my failures, my successes, my appearance, what others say about me, I often fall short. It’s like we’re all hoping that each day we will be able to produce more pluses than negatives, so we will have good self-esteem. And before we judge those outside the church who do this, let’s be clear that this is the essence of legalism within the church. If our spiritual pluses outweigh our spiritual negatives, then we will be more lovable to God.
Let’s ask the core question, “Are you truly lovable, and if so, why?” For each of us who is in Christ, the answer is that we are 100% lovable, 24/7, because our Father made us lovable when He completely forgave us and made us righteous in Christ! Romans 5:1 says,
“Therefore, being justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.”
This doesn’t mean everything we do is pleasing to God but that what we do doesn’t make us less lovable to Him.
Let’s drill down even deeper and ask, “If God has made you lovable, do you agree with Him?” In other words, are you willing to say, “Father, because you have made me lovable in Christ, I agree with you that I am lovable.” Why is it so important to agree with God? Because we have an enemy who seems to constantly tell us how unlovable we are. Remember, Satan is a liar, and we must replace his lies with God’s truth!
All of us should have a great self-esteem in Christ, because He has made us lovable. But it takes diligence to keep agreeing with God based on what Jesus has done. In counseling, we see many Christians experience a peace with God like never before because they finally realize this truth.
Take a step to experience this amazing peace for yourself. Get a piece a paper and write down the prayer below. Then, go somewhere private where you can pray it out loud for you and God to hear together:
Father, because you have made me lovable in Christ, I agree with You. I believe that I am lovable, and there is nothing that will change your opinion of me. Holy Spirit, guard my mind and remind me to pray this truth often. In Jesus’ name, Amen.