When our children were growing up, Ellen and I both believed that it was our responsibility to talk to each one about sex. They have heard all about it from their friends and many have seen a perversion of it because of the internet and TV pornography.
Let me share an example of what I mean. I took each of my three sons on a father/son weekend to talk about sex when they were in the 6th grade – the first year of Middle School. (I also took them in 9th and 12th grade.) Ellen talked to our daughter.
On one of those 6th-grade trips, my son said, “Dad, I already know all about sex. You don’t need to tell me anything.” My response? “You probably do, but you need to hear my perspective on it and especially God’s perspective on it.”
You see, sex was designed by God to be great … in marriage. He designed it for procreation and for pleasure. Sex was God’s idea, not the Devil’s! It’s not dirty in marriage. It’s a gift from God.
The statistics are very compelling that parents still have the greatest influence in the decisions that teens and young adults make about sex before marriage. That is not a guarantee that they will live like who they are in Christ in this area, but it is still our God-given responsibility to talk with them and guide them in this area.
The best thing we can do for our kids in teaching them about sex, is to challenge them to make some decisions before they ever start dating. Some of them make use of sex dating apps reviews listcrawler where young people might be hooking up. If not, they will most likely make the wrong decision later when they are on a date. Here are some of those decisions.
Safe sex for the Christian is no sex prior to marriage. See 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 Today, you have to be very specific about what you mean by sex. A decision that will help a single person is to agree that any area of the body below the neck is off limits while dating. An exception, of course, might be holding hands. And in reality, most people regardless of their age, cannot sit around and kiss very long without being tempted to do more. We know that practicing safe sex, even if people do not wait until marriage is better than not using protection. This just reduces the risks of contracting an infection. If it does end up though that someone has symptoms of an STD, it would be within their best interest to visit a clinic like Southwest Care to get tested. Testing positive for something like Hepatitis C is what may put someone off having sex, but as long as you are safe, there may be less chance of this happening. God designed passionate kissing to be one of the first steps towards the beautiful act of sexual intimacy in marriage. If a single is going to kiss at all while dating, they need to decide how much kissing they are going to involve themselves in. If you have kids, I encourage you to share this with them, whether they are 13 or 30.
Don’t advertise. Make sure your girls know that they can dress in style without being immodest. For example, a girl who shows cleavage is advertising. A girl who wears shorts, skirts or dresses so that her butt cheek is showing, or almost showing, is advertising. And some guy will be tempted to take the merchandise. She needs to save all of that for her husband in private after she is married.
Another thing kids need to know is that the Bible tells them to treat the opposite sex as if they were their brother or sister. Read these words to the single pastor, Timothy in 1 Timothy 5:2. “Reverently honor an older woman as you would your mother, and the younger women as sisters.” That is another great decision for those who are dating to make. In fact, if they treat the opposite sex as a brother or sister, then a friendship may occur which one day might lead them to the one God has for them to marry. Passionate Dating is definitely about safe sex when you live like who you are in Christ!
If you would like to get your teens connected to Grace Life International, check out our upcoming Supernatural Flight Teen Conference! We are also here to provide safe, confidential, and compassionate personal counseling for anyone looking for a place to grow, debunk struggles, and experience being more alive in Christ.