For the past year, my 24 year old daughter has been very sick. She has autoimmune encephalitis which basically means that her immune system is attacking her brain, attempting to kill it. It started last December with psychiatric problems such as hearing voices, seeing people who weren’t there, irrational fears, and a complete psychotic break down. At first, we had no idea what was wrong. She was in the hospital for 4 days and over the next three months would visit 16 doctors, have multiple tests and be admitted to the ER three times. No one could find what was wrong. The only diagnosis was PTSD and sleep deprivation. She eventually became unable to feed herself and so listless that the weekend before she was to go to Duke University Hospital, Ellen and I prayed she wouldn’t die. Once there, she was finally accurately diagnosed and hospitalized for five days while being given 1000 mg of steroids through an IV.
About the second day in the hospital, I asked myself some honest but troubling questions. “Have I been fooling myself all of these years about Jesus? Is He really real?” You see, hundreds of people were praying for Bekah and she was getting worse by the day, not better. The reason I was able to be honest about my doubts was I knew that if what I taught people, which is that we are united with God, He would take me from that place of questioning and doubt to wherever He wanted me to go. And, He did. That was in April.
Not only did He assure me that He was real, somewhere along the way I began to thank God for everything which was happening, not only with Bekah, our daughter, but other challenges. For example, I discovered I had precancerous tissue in my esophagus after an endoscopy for reflux. The foundation of our house sank twice and one of those has been fixed to date (not cheap!). Our roof is still leaking after two repairs. Our missionary support took a nose dive, our only means of getting a paycheck. Ellen and I became exhausted because of alternating nights of keeping an eye on Bekah. My newly rebuilt transmission started having problems. And much, much more.
How am I able to “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus,” 1 Thessalonians 5:18, and proclaim sincerely that God is good, faithful, loving, and sovereign? There is only one answer to that. Jesus who lives in me is rising up enabling me to do all of it. (2nd Peter 1:3)
How about you? Are you thanking God for all of the bad happening in your life as well as the good? Are you able to proclaim how good God is in your circumstances? If not, turn to Jesus and tell Him everything you feel. Ask Him to bring you to this place of thanksgiving for all. It’s only as He rises up within us that we can do this in such a way that we actually have peace.
Don’t get me wrong. I am praying for and believing God to heal my daughter. We are getting her the best medical treatment available. We want her, this young adult who now has the mentality of a three year old, to be restored to the joyful, outgoing independent person she once was; but, I am still thanking Him along the way. It’s still very stressful and sad to see her like this. But I am able to still thank God. (2nd Cor. 12:10)
This is the Gospel of grace meeting real life. What an amazing Jesus we have in us!
Believe it! It’s the Gospel.
Live Free In Christ,
Mark Maulding, President and Founder
www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2015 Mark Maulding but feel free to pass it on!
