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Grace Life International Christian Counseling Center

Christian Counseling Leading to the Life-Giving Power of God's Grace

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You Can’t Meet Your Own Needs for Love, Acceptance, Worth and Security

God created you with certain needs of the heart which only He can fully meet.  I, and my staff have seen that these needs are universal, whether here in the USA, or in places like Zimbabwe, Chile, Kyrgyzstan, Afghanistan, Croatia, Ukraine or England. 
Every person needs love because God is love.  Every person needs acceptance because that is what unconditional love from God truly is.  Every person needs worth because we are valuable enough for God to create us and for Jesus to die for us.  Everyone needs security because we need to know we can’t mess up the love we have and only God’s grace in Christ can provide that.  We use the acronym LAWS to help people remember their needs.

I want you to imagine four plastic buckets sitting in front of you.  Each one has a different name on it.  The first says LOVE.  The second says ACCEPTANCE.  The third says WORTH.  The fourth says SECURITY.  God made you to live with those buckets full.  In fact, you can’t live very well unless they are full.  Yet, because we don’t know they are already full, we work hard at trying to fill them ourselves. 

What are some of the ways we do this?  We may perform so people will like us.  We may manipulate people.  We may expect people to meet these needs such as in marriage and when they don’t, we get angry and start an argument.  We may look on Facebook to see what people are saying about us.  We may try to get our kids to meet these needs by making us proud for the wrong reasons.  We may try sex outside of marriage.  We may fantasize through porn.  In other words, we try to control our personal universe by living independently of God, by looking to others or things in trying  to meet these needs.

God says it this way in Jeremiah 2:13.  For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, The fountain of living waters, To hew for themselves cisterns, Broken cisterns That can hold no water. (NASB)

God was speaking of Israel at the time, but it’s still an applicable illustration of what our flesh wants to try to do for us.  First, we turn away from our real Source who will abundantly satisfy our heart like living waters.  Second, we work hard to get our buckets filled but our buckets have holes in them just like Israel’s cisterns did.  (A cistern was a hole you dug into the ground and hoped rain water would fill so you could have water to satisfy your thirst.  But Israel’s had cracks in them so that the water didn’t stay very long.)

You can’t satisfy your own needs for God given LAWS, no matter how hard you work or who you try to get to meet them.  The little that you do strive for will not last and you will have to go out and work hard the next day to get it again.

If you are a Christ follower, you are united to the God who is love and He created you so He could love you.  Do you believe that?  We all get tested in this area when someone disappoints us or we disappoint ourselves.

Why don’t you thank God this week that He is the only one who can adequately meet those needs and ask Him to make them real in you?


Believe it! It’s the Gospel.

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2015 Mark Maulding but feel free to pass it on!

Continue Reading »

Written by Mark Maulding · Categorized: acceptance, Christ in us, I need love, securty, Worth

You Can’t Meet Your Own Needs for Love, Acceptance, Worth and Security

God created you with certain needs of the heart which only He can fully meet.  I, and my staff have seen that these needs are universal, whether here in the USA, or in places like Zimbabwe, Chile, Kyrgyzstan, Afghanistan, Croatia, Ukraine or England. 
Every person needs love because God is love.  Every person needs acceptance because that is what unconditional love from God truly is.  Every person needs worth because we are valuable enough for God to create us and for Jesus to die for us.  Everyone needs security because we need to know we can’t mess up the love we have and only God’s grace in Christ can provide that.  We use the acronym LAWS to help people remember their needs.

I want you to imagine four plastic buckets sitting in front of you.  Each one has a different name on it.  The first says LOVE.  The second says ACCEPTANCE.  The third says WORTH.  The fourth says SECURITY.  God made you to live with those buckets full.  In fact, you can’t live very well unless they are full.  Yet, because we don’t know they are already full, we work hard at trying to fill them ourselves. 

What are some of the ways we do this?  We may perform so people will like us.  We may manipulate people.  We may expect people to meet these needs such as in marriage and when they don’t, we get angry and start an argument.  We may look on Facebook to see what people are saying about us.  We may try to get our kids to meet these needs by making us proud for the wrong reasons.  We may try sex outside of marriage.  We may fantasize through porn.  In other words, we try to control our personal universe by living independently of God, by looking to others or things in trying  to meet these needs.

God says it this way in Jeremiah 2:13.  For My people have committed two evils: They have forsaken Me, The fountain of living waters, To hew for themselves cisterns, Broken cisterns That can hold no water. (NASB)

God was speaking of Israel at the time, but it’s still an applicable illustration of what our flesh wants to try to do for us.  First, we turn away from our real Source who will abundantly satisfy our heart like living waters.  Second, we work hard to get our buckets filled but our buckets have holes in them just like Israel’s cisterns did.  (A cistern was a hole you dug into the ground and hoped rain water would fill so you could have water to satisfy your thirst.  But Israel’s had cracks in them so that the water didn’t stay very long.)

You can’t satisfy your own needs for God given LAWS, no matter how hard you work or who you try to get to meet them.  The little that you do strive for will not last and you will have to go out and work hard the next day to get it again.

If you are a Christ follower, you are united to the God who is love and He created you so He could love you.  Do you believe that?  We all get tested in this area when someone disappoints us or we disappoint ourselves.

Why don’t you thank God this week that He is the only one who can adequately meet those needs and ask Him to make them real in you?


Believe it! It’s the Gospel.

Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2015 Mark Maulding but feel free to pass it on!

Continue Reading »

Written by Mark Maulding · Categorized: acceptance, Christ in us, I need love, securty, Worth

Surprising Self-worth!

A few years ago, a New York family spent a leisurely Saturday perusing yard sales.  A small 5 inch white bowl caught their eye, but they were only willing to give $3 for it.  It sat on a shelf in their home for six years and was probably used to hold candy.  Eventually, the owners became curious about its value and took it to have it appraised.  To their surprise, they were in possession of a 1000 year old rare “Ding” bowl from the Northern Song Dynasty of China.  Sotheby’s presented it for auction on behalf of the family where it sold for a whopping $2.2 million dollars!  This makes me want to go to a yard sale right now!
As you ponder that story, which value do you place on yourself?  Do you constantly think of yourself as a $3 common bowl, a $2.2 million dollar treasure or somewhere in-between?  I suppose, for all of us, it depends on who is doing the appraising.  Most often, we consider the opinions of others, along with our own performance and appearance to be what determines our value.  If we perform well and others think well of us, we give ourselves high value.  If the opposite is true, we give ourselves minimal value.  At the end of the day, the value of anything or anybody is determined by what someone is willing to give to purchase it.  Right? 
Why don’t we stop for a moment and let God appraise you?  As He looks you over, He thinks, then He looks some more and finally He writes down His estimation of you.  His answer?  He is willing to give His only Son, Jesus Christ, so He can purchase you!  YOU, are as valuable to Him as His Son!  He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Romans 8:32.
It’s not that we are worthy of salvation through our works.  We are not.  However, God has assigned worth and value to us as demonstrated by the gift of His Son.   The question then is this:  Do you place the same value on yourself as God does?  If so, pray something  like this to your Father. 
Father, because You gave the most valuable possession You had when you gave Your Son to die for me, You have made clear that I have great worth in Your eyes.  Thank You!  As a result, because You say I have great worth, I agree with You and say back to You that I have great worth, no matter how I feel today or how I have performed this week. Amen.

Believe it!  It’s the Gospel!


Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2014 Mark Maulding

Continue Reading »

Written by Mark Maulding · Categorized: Self-image in Christ, Self-worth, Value, Worth

Surprising Self-worth!

A few years ago, a New York family spent a leisurely Saturday perusing yard sales.  A small 5 inch white bowl caught their eye, but they were only willing to give $3 for it.  It sat on a shelf in their home for six years and was probably used to hold candy.  Eventually, the owners became curious about its value and took it to have it appraised.  To their surprise, they were in possession of a 1000 year old rare “Ding” bowl from the Northern Song Dynasty of China.  Sotheby’s presented it for auction on behalf of the family where it sold for a whopping $2.2 million dollars!  This makes me want to go to a yard sale right now!
As you ponder that story, which value do you place on yourself?  Do you constantly think of yourself as a $3 common bowl, a $2.2 million dollar treasure or somewhere in-between?  I suppose, for all of us, it depends on who is doing the appraising.  Most often, we consider the opinions of others, along with our own performance and appearance to be what determines our value.  If we perform well and others think well of us, we give ourselves high value.  If the opposite is true, we give ourselves minimal value.  At the end of the day, the value of anything or anybody is determined by what someone is willing to give to purchase it.  Right? 
Why don’t we stop for a moment and let God appraise you?  As He looks you over, He thinks, then He looks some more and finally He writes down His estimation of you.  His answer?  He is willing to give His only Son, Jesus Christ, so He can purchase you!  YOU, are as valuable to Him as His Son!  He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him over for us all, how will He not also with Him freely give us all things? Romans 8:32.
It’s not that we are worthy of salvation through our works.  We are not.  However, God has assigned worth and value to us as demonstrated by the gift of His Son.   The question then is this:  Do you place the same value on yourself as God does?  If so, pray something  like this to your Father. 
Father, because You gave the most valuable possession You had when you gave Your Son to die for me, You have made clear that I have great worth in Your eyes.  Thank You!  As a result, because You say I have great worth, I agree with You and say back to You that I have great worth, no matter how I feel today or how I have performed this week. Amen.

Believe it!  It’s the Gospel!


Live Free In Christ,

Mark Maulding, President and Founder

www.GraceLifeInternational.com All Content Copyright © 2014 Mark Maulding

Continue Reading »

Written by Mark Maulding · Categorized: Self-image in Christ, Self-worth, Value, Worth

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WE MINISTER TO PEOPLE IN
Charlotte, North Carolina, Every State, and Internationally

CONTACT  
Call or Text (704) 522-9026
info@gracelifeinternational.com

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*Counseling hours are morning, afternoon, and evening by appointment

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Charlotte, NC 28277

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